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~* queen of cups *~

by bly wallentine

father doted over me with a branch in hand from the birchwood tree he turned my eyes black and blue then he said, "i love you, child, but my love's not free" "la da da," he whispered in my ear and played my back like drums i never even knew what i had done "la da da," he whispered in my ear and loved my young heart numb i never even knew what i had done father doted over me while i lay in bed feigning dreamsick sleep he touched my heart, kissed me on the cheek hand between my thighs where he made me bleed
i find fulfillment in numbing my psyche with picture shows i can't feel nothing if i don't let my eyes close i prefer purpose to pleasure, pleasure is simpler though orgasm's better if i don't let my eyes close nothing feels real if i don't make it feel real nothing feels like it matters if i don't make it feel like it matters
they told me death is not the end they warned that god is not my friend my prayerbook's words will i amend these dear misdeeds did i intend and, o, underneath these clothes all i am is bones, just bones in graves and, o, nobody can know if i have a soul or if i'm saved how can i doubt the pains of hell my father's grave serves my memory well i tore his insides out of his shell it's not a sin if he can't tell
i, built with springs and these duct-tape tin-can wings woke among crows in my finest sunday clothes i told my tale in a cold plutonium hail wrapped in a shroud, a corrosive mushroom cloud i, built with love for the death of smaller bugs tore out your homes with my foggy fission foam all i could see were the roaches and debris cause life's pretty calm for an old atomic bomb
only time can tell whether i'll die and go to hell or if i'll live forever doubtful of myself only i can say whether my femme will slip away but i can't think much less i can't say words, okay ah bless me mother god ah i am wholly flawed
toughen up, sell your soul,, heels and hair, gun control tie your teeth to the door, raven choir, carnivore racing stripes, always gold, dodged the draft, never told protein drinks, polyjuice, loose wrecked crew-cut recluse


tw: child abuse


released September 19, 2015

stephen cope - vocals, trumpets, bass, guitars, keyboards, drums
mary nielson - violin
alyssa pyper - vocals
erika eddington - vocals
elizabeth holden - vocals
stuart wheeler - drums, french horn, vocals
jesse quebbeman-turley - drums, vocals

recorded at studio studio dada
recorded, arranged, and produced by stephen cope
mastered by cade thalman

artwork by mara teague lemesany


all rights reserved


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