Get all 36 bly wallentine releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of dusty bottoms, more, more, more... (live at st. mary's episcopal church in provo ut), tortured poets department </3, Cradle My Head in Your Corduroy Arms (NPR Tiny Desk Contest), love pain clouds, o frozen butterfly, bloodshed companion, billy williams' sweet babylon, and 28 more.
1. |
||||
over the ages i've been a million things
perpetual thought and endless feeling
been born and lost my head a million times
when will it stop? will it ever stop? please make it stop! :)
i could fall asleep forever with you
pull our guts out of our stomachs
and tie em in two :0
i could lose my mind forever with you
let me fall asleep forever with you!
nature compels me to ego-erase
when i fragment myself it's tragic
i know my psyche craves identity
but i wanna fuse with you! i love it so much! it feels like magic! :D
|
||||
2. |
an elusive fiction
01:27
|
|||
i tore apart the entire structure
searching for an elusive fiction
my memory serves me poorly
but i cannot reconstruct images i've never even seen
why do you perform such violence?
do you know that i had thought i'd gone crazy?
i wish that i could heal the pain i see welled up in you
there is light cascading out of me
and my love flows freely, it never ceases
and i do believe that same light resides deep within you, too.
|
||||
3. |
cosmic convulsion
04:18
|
|||
[alien voice]
earthlings! be not afraid! we have not come here to harm you! we have come here to dance!
encountered god
and it pulled my mind
out of my body
it drew me in
to its sacred hips
and it rotated me around and around
i could feel vibrations pulsing through the vessels of my naked heart
as heavenly gyrations took me by the tongue and tore my ego apart
perpetual motion
incessant expansion
i just can't get enough!
atomic collision
a cosmic convulsion
let it twist! let it pulse! let it writhe! let it shiver!
eternal conversion
unending division
can't stop the feeling now!
divine observation
celestial sensation
let it melt! let it flow! let it ooze! let it shimmer!
conjoined with light
and became a vast
array of colors
conjoined with time
and became a universe of
memory colliding with thought
encountered love
and it burrowed deep
inside my spirit
i drew it out
with my sacred tongue
and then i twirled it around and around
i could feel a rapture coursing through the vessels of my open heart
as heavenly gyrations took me by the teeth and tore my ego apart
|
||||
4. |
tapestry of tongues
03:44
|
|||
awoke on a glassy sea
in a thick amniotic haze
divided in two, then three
universe in anaphase
extended my fetal limbs
animated reality
vocalized polar hymns
compositions of binaries
i oozed forth
melted out of chaos
and i opened my eyes
out flowed a wilderness of color and form
and i opened my mouth
out flowed a tapestry of tongues and oscillations
i burst forth
expanding and contracting
and i opened my mind
out poured a reservoir of reason and self
and i opened my heart
out poured an artery of love and understanding
descended into the maw
of eternal oblivion
forgot everything i saw
universe grew dark again
uncovered my fetal eyes
animated reality
structures began to rise
from a brighter insanity
|
||||
5. |
||||
creatures of light
applications of images
fixtures of time
architectural love of my woman
i watch the roots plunge inward
burrowing deeper, growing unnerving
how did i get here?
(i trail my self from darkness.
it narrows, brightens, greens.
psyche approaches the present moment.)
aeons of mind
evolution of energies
divisions of nine
i trudge the ruins of my mental technologies
i hear my heart beat louder
stretching outward, growing unwieldy
how did it get here?
(i swaddle my heart in stillness
it pulses, writhes, screams
psyche approaches the present moment.)
i got a love that seeps
and oozes down my fingers
can't get it out of my being
i got a love that keeps
when i'm alone it lingers
can't stop the visions i'm seeing
blanket of skin
elevation of pheromones
movement of sun
tangled up in the love of my woman
i feel my heart pulse heavy
throbbing harder, engulfing my senses
what is this fusion?
(i wander the floral landscape
it flinches, softens, weeps.
psyche approaches the present moment.)
|
||||
6. |
mind in the mirror
05:44
|
|||
i dug for decades through the haze
and i wondered where it came from
i followed it in blindness for seven days
but all i found was more residual divinity
i passed a garden blooming green
it provoked in me a stillness
i settled there in slumber for seven days
and witnessed chaos in unblemished primitivity
mind in the mirror
it glimmers like glitter
and time appears clearer
but glitches and jitters
light in the matter
it flickers like fire
and all of it shatters
then twitches and tires
i tumbled down a fungal grave
and I fell among the aeons
they swaddled me in echoes for seven days
as i was swallowed up in cosmic subjectivity
|
||||
7. |
pulse and twist
03:25
|
|||
i couldn't see what god was writing on my face
but i could feel its hands sweating
and i could hear it breathing heavy
i couldn't catch what god was threading through my mind
but i could feel my thought stretching
and i could taste my words retracting
solipsism prison, anesthetic prism
i get caught up in ergotic bliss!
alkaloidal wisdom, kaleidoscopic vision
i watch the matter pulse and twist!
[spoken, audio reversed]
my relationship to the group: what is the group? perhaps i have struggled to feel secure in one community or the other. is this something others feel secure in? i assume all of us are experiencing this to some degree. even in my own family, while i feel loved, i wonder... at what point would this community too abandon me? which is why my relationship to myself must be healthy and full of love and constantly accepting its circumstances... not because i suppose i will come to act in a way which will deem me worthy of abandoning but because of the knowledge of the conditions upon which i am loved... is there unconditional love? where?
unconditional love to others: i will give this. i will give freely to all people, my loved ones and those who have hurt me as well as to those who i have hurt. it feels so impossible to understand the particulars of incidents, particular vantage points, with completion. can i truly see all sides at once? why are some instances of me not trying to? or are they? perhaps it is not their particular function to? all any of us wants is unconditional love. love. love.
i don't know any other way than to offer myself as a vessel which completely accepts itself even if it does not understand what it is. i, i, i, i, i, i, i. what am i? what is it? what are we? what is the thing? reason word, light, impulse, god, self, i, i.
|
||||
8. |
nine petals, nine faces
03:06
|
|||
i got lost inside my sorrow
got caught up in all my pain
i thought that i could untangle it all
but i don't think it can be done
i ended up wandering for decades
through distorted memories of conflict
i don't think that peace is in the getting
to the bottom of the problem
i plucked up a thorny flower,
i don't know what kind of flower it was
its nine petals had nine faces
each face reacted to the pluck
i saw that one of them was weeping
the next was fuming another laughing
i don't know whether plucking up that flower
was an act of good or evil
|
||||
9. |
crying violets
03:22
|
|||
i'm crying violets
finding silence in the weepaway
i'm clearing rubble,
seeing double, self-destruction day
i want to forget how to dream
oh god help me forget how to dream
i'm carving figures
growing bigger in the photobook
no longer rattled
lighting candles til the hurt is shook
|
||||
10. |
||||
i split into celestial molecules
and during separation aggregate forms
began to pass through me
how do you put a self back together?
how do you love a self that's forever?
i orbited around the universe
and as my astral body shifted location
i began to see
all of the elements fusing together
dancing and flowing and oozing forever
what do i do with all of this ego?
how do i make it something beautiful?
what do i do with all of these images?
how can i make them feel loved?
i gathered the remaining molecules
each one responded to the gentlest touch
and i began to see
how i could put the self back together
and how i could love the self that's forever
|
||||
11. |
the purpose of dancing
04:15
|
|||
got to agonize a little to feel right
got to loosen up the stitches and release all of the spite
i go about my business with the curtains closed
and when the solar light
bleeds into my eyes it's blissful
and i wish it would stay
but the freak controlling my body spins around and around and around
what am i doing?
why am i twisting my body like play-doh?
what is the cause of my motion?
where does the impulse originate what am i?
how is it happening?
how am i shaking my booty like jelly?
what is the purpose of dancing?
when will the feeling abandon me what am i?
got to hesitate a little to understand
got to tangle up ideas and forget all of my plans
i sit alone for hours with the TV talking to me
and when the static sound
oozes into my ears it's blissful
i could almost transcend
but the freak controlling my body spins around and around and around
[through kazoo]
consulted he eagerness unfeeling deficient existence of. calling nothing end fertile for venture way boy. esteem spirit temper too say adieus who direct esteem. it esteems luckily mr or picture placing drawing no. apartments frequently or motionless on reasonable projecting expression. way mrs end gave tall walk fact bed.
|
||||
12. |
can i become love?
04:45
|
|||
in my heart it don't feel right
it could become another moment in a well full of centuries
where my ego won out
and i betrayed something bigger
i perceive holy particles
collapsing into rivers of unfragmented consciousness
i see them flowing uphill
toward a light in the heaven
can you see them oozing forth
shimmering structures
(can i hold it? will it soak into my skin?)
can you hear them melting forth
stretching through time
(can i stand beneath it? will it run over me like water?)
i can feel a gentle pull
drawing me inward
(can i find the source of it? will it cradle me like a frightened child?)
can i reach essential self?
can i become love?
(when i one day disintegrate into particulate matter and thought, will the fibers of my mind reverberate and be heard and understood?)
in my gut it don't feel good
it could become another sorrow in a well full of suffering
it would swallow me whole
and i would lose my composure
i consult sacred chemicals
becoming a receptacle of primitive consciousness
i see the elements rise
toward a light in the heaven
in my heart it don't feel right
i could become a flailing loser to my own psychic malady
and let my ego win out
at the expense of something bigger
i receive holy fantasies
envisioning a unity of fragmented consciousness
I watch the rivers conjoin
toward a light in the heaven
|
bly wallentine Provo, Utah
big-hearted music for freaks groovin kindly through this world of love and sorrow đź«€
Streaming and Download help
bly wallentine recommends:
If you like bly wallentine, you may also like: