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lyrics

i feel often that i am alone,
and i cannot tell if
i am okay with it,
it often makes me feel
like a flightless bird,
a wave in an ocean, empty
of everything but itself,
and i know that i can
love it all
but sometimes it is frightening
to be the only thing
washed up on a shore of
endless sand
perhaps this is the source of the sorrow
and the mother of the fear
and i have been at many
points abandoned by myself,
though i could not see what i was doing

it is all a body of fear,
the ship sailing through a
worrying storm, but it is
not wet here, nor is there
structure or form

i think back to the abandonment —
it is all a realization of conditional love.
which is not truly love but a mirror,
a projection of doubt and
self loathing and
uncertainty: what is this
creature i inhabit?

but i have learned
(though i often forget myself)
that while i do not always
understand my pain
i can accept it with grace,
and extend that acceptance
to myself
while i seek to understand
my pain and all of the rest.
of me.

i am acceptable, every
molecule, as is everything
outside of me, which is
also a part of me,
a single outstretched
thread of silk,
which extends on forever,
held by the loving fingers.
of an eternal god

credits

from sublime​|​subliminal​|​sublingual​]​*​(​%​^​, explorations of banjo and voice, released November 5, 2020

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bly wallentine Provo, Utah

big-hearted music for freaks groovin kindly through this world of love and sorrow 🫀

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