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pulse and twist

from the purpose of dancing by bly wallentine

/

lyrics

i couldn't see what god was writing on my face
but i could feel its hands sweating
and i could hear it breathing heavy

i couldn't catch what god was threading through my mind
but i could feel my thought stretching
and i could taste my words retracting

solipsism prison, anesthetic prism
i get caught up in ergotic bliss!
alkaloidal wisdom, kaleidoscopic vision
i watch the matter pulse and twist!

[spoken, audio reversed]
my relationship to the group: what is the group? perhaps i have struggled to feel secure in one community or the other. is this something others feel secure in? i assume all of us are experiencing this to some degree. even in my own family, while i feel loved, i wonder... at what point would this community too abandon me? which is why my relationship to myself must be healthy and full of love and constantly accepting its circumstances... not because i suppose i will come to act in a way which will deem me worthy of abandoning but because of the knowledge of the conditions upon which i am loved... is there unconditional love? where?

unconditional love to others: i will give this. i will give freely to all people, my loved ones and those who have hurt me as well as to those who i have hurt. it feels so impossible to understand the particulars of incidents, particular vantage points, with completion. can i truly see all sides at once? why are some instances of me not trying to? or are they? perhaps it is not their particular function to? all any of us wants is unconditional love. love. love.

i don't know any other way than to offer myself as a vessel which completely accepts itself even if it does not understand what it is. i, i, i, i, i, i, i. what am i? what is it? what are we? what is the thing? reason word, light, impulse, god, self, i, i.

credits

from the purpose of dancing, released July 3, 2020

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bly wallentine Provo, Utah

big-hearted music for freaks groovin kindly through this world of love and sorrow đź«€

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