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bloodshed companion

by bly wallentine

/
1.
everyone took so long to everyone had forgotten they lost my name everyone thought i'd left but everyone thought i'd left but i was hiding under the kitchen table making room for playtime it turned to bloodshed dreamland turned into vengeance playtime it turned to bloodshood dreamland turned into violence where did i put that kill switch? where did i put the button, the big red NO under a silent mayhem under a breath that i could not keep it down in my lungs it slithered out and made itself alive then it turned to bloodshed life-breath turned into vengeance alive then it turned to bloodshed life-breath turned into violence
2.
where is love in this part of me that destroys and takes and raises up empire? where is goodness in this equation? where is heart in this ugly cell of unfeeling hate that kills to be bigger? can i hope for a kinder vision? where is god in the shallow graves of my spirit kin all worthy of safety? what is true of my old companion?

about

I have been processing with great difficulty the violence and cruelty which humans enact upon each other. My body is heavy with grief, trembling with terror, hot and tense with anger, felt through the earth. I don't understand it. It's confusing and I feel afraid. It sometimes feels like a clenching despair. I pray in faith and hope, and still, the reality of vicious empire, the conquering destroyer which I know is inside of me, part of me, in my body... where is love in this all? How can I be wholly with this?

I pray for ceasefire, for liberation of the Palestinian people, for a kind spirit to meet us all and teach us and bring us all into freedom, peace, sharing, compassionate listening. I pray that we may all have safe homes where we may play and rest and create and feel and be with ourselves and one another.

Be well, everyone. I love you all.

XO always Bly

credits

released November 18, 2023

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bly wallentine Provo, Utah

big-hearted music for freaks groovin kindly through this world of love and sorrow 🫀

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