"i am the first and the last.
i am the honored one and the scorned one.
i am the whore and the holy one.
i am the wife and the virgin.
i am the mother and the daughter...
i am perfect mind and perfect rest...
i have knowledge of the angels sent at my word,
and of gods in their seasons sent by my counsel,
and of spirits of every man who exists with me
and of women who dwell within me...
those unconnected to me are unfamiliar with me,
and those in my substance know me...
i am [...] within.
i am [...] of natures.
i am [...] of created spirits,
the request of souls."
o the fear of me, god forbidding
am i not divinity, primal infant
i have sought to shrink and be feeble
what i see in the leaves are a blade and a loom
what i hear when i cry are a lion and lamb
i only wish to have love
o the hate of me, god reproaching
have i not been penitent and deserving
in the ragged clothes of my mother
i undid at the foot of the all of it all
and i offered my peace till i made myself sick
i only wish to be whole
i think i understand
i understand the endless love of me
i had to fill myself
i filled me with the endless love of me
o the death of me, god dissolving
i will be the silhouette of my glory
under all the dust and excretions
i am wise and discerning and worthy to be
there is fruit in my stomach and light in my fist
i only wish to know good
i didn't know where i was
i was a long way away from home
i didn't know what i was
was i acceptable so far from home?
released August 13, 2019
~* written, mixed & mastered by bly wallentine at studio studio dada in provo, ut.
~* produced by bly wallentine & ben swisher.
~* clarinet, organ, flute & recorder performed by ben swisher.
~* piano, synthesizer, cornet, drum programming & vocals performed by bly wallentine.
~* cover design by bly wallentine, featuring artwork by 19th century illustrators edwin austin abbey [when a daffodil i see,
hanging down his head t’wards me;
guess i may, what i must be:
first, i shall decline my head;
secondly, i shall be dead;
lastly, safely buried.] & owen jones